Your H is gaslighting. Do you notice how he flips things around and makes YOU at fault for things that he did? As if he had no freewill and he was somehow controlled by you. That's not the case.
For example, the fact that he said that he wasn't going to answer your question about whether or not he had sex with the OW means that he did. Also, as his W you DESERVE transparency when it comes to the finances. Trust goes two ways. He says he wants you to trust him but won't give you any in return.
"he says he could not take anymore. He had no connection with me and could not take it anymore. "
BS. He is being a selfish baby and didn't want responsibility any more. So he tried dumping you with it and be free.
My suggestion would be to start limiting your time with him. Tell him straight up that you don't enjoy feeling used and not being respected by him. And that the fact that he isn't giving you the information you need to trust him again, shows that. Then start living independently as if he wasn't there. He is trickle truthing you.
