I KNEW calling myself out on that stuff would not slip past you, uR. I even revisited my last thread, and thought that perhaps due to the positioning of the post, and being at the end of the thread....it may skim by unnoticed....ha. Denial. See how I try to weasel out of stuff sometimes???
But, in my mind dump, I was really crying for help. At the same time, afraid of the help. Yep, fear.
I'll get back to that^^^^.
Oh, he mad....heehee. Shining didn't engage. (Pats self on back, high 5's, knuckle bump, and secret congratulatory handshake). I'm expecting more. And I'm planning on letting it roll off like water on duck feathers. It's weird, but it kind of confirms again, that this sure isn't just a case of the hiccups. This is bigger than anything I can fathom.
Lots going on that would stress even a normal person.... Moving, lying to me about it, ow#1 back, who knows.....maybe he wasn't able to "perform" last night as he had hoped. (Mooohoohoo, aahhhahhhaaaa) <<< maniacal laugh.
But yeah, I was kinda thinking it's been brewing since the opening up about his dads, kids, etc. last weekend. Following the MLC patterns a bit.
I like what you wrote about not having to GAL in a big group kind of way. I'm not a bar chick. I like your suggestions. Especially finding a class. Totally doable.
Oh, back to the fear..... I'm that. I'm so "that" and I don't even know what "that" is. Something is keeping me afraid and I can't figure it out. The stuff I've explored with past counselors was helpful, but I know there's still something I'm missing. I'm open to any different techniques on digging.
It's like I'm missing a piece of my brain, like a stroke victim and I can't access something. Idk. It's bugging me. Maybe it isn't even anything big. Just unfinished small stuff. What do other people do with this?
