I have a good attorney, her busy-ness notwithstanding.
As hard as I tried I couldn't figure out how to make it through the meeting without crying, and she said I clearly wasn't ready to take the steps we had been discussing, so we worked out a couple of alternative steps that would give me the security I'm looking for without going further than I was comfortable doing.
She observed that I seemed super sensitive to my H's moods and even asked if I had ever been hit. I haven't. She suggested I need more space away from him to figure out what I want so I can proceed in a way that is good for me.
I cancelled the lunch. The sense of relief I felt at doing that proves it was the right move for me. I know I'm on a "save your marriage" forum. I know that's what I ought to want. I'm sorry if I'm a disappointment to all of you who had greater patience and confidence in the rightness of the relationship to stick it out. But I do need to take time to know for sure that I'm fighting for what I want or not.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15