DBing is like parenting: no one goes to their deathbed saying "I wish I would have been more lenient with my kids."
Nearly EVERYONE who comes back here who's been unsuccessful says something along the lines of "I wish I would've insisted upon 'X' much sooner," or "I wish I could have laid out strong boundaries at the outset," etc.
You CAN'T let your "what's working" barometer be "Does it make her mad?" It's gotta be "WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO IN EVERY SITUATION? WHAT IS THE THING THAT GOD HIMSELF WOULD HAVE ME DO, IF HE WERE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?" . . . and let the blowback chips fall where they may.
Until then, you're being reactionary and just spinning your wheels based on pure emotion.
