Caliguy, read your thread. I feel for you brother. Keep the faith. I know it's hard to do. God will work for you in your life. My wife is in a bad place as well. This mlc stuff is rough. It's hard to go dark with kids no question about it. From an outsiders view I think you are doing a good job validating. Keep it up. I know you feel like it's hopeless at times bUT You will be connected thru your S. So you will have plenty of opportunities to show her the new you.
Thanks Igit ... yeah I think we all have our good days ... and then with the rollercoaster there are bound to be frustrating days .... thank you so much for your words and encouragement ... I was riding last night and realized only God will deliver me from this, no idea if that means my M and family stay intact .... but there is only so much we can do and we must allow God to work on our WAW.
Update
Funny how things change so quickly with my sitch. So yesterday I was not feeling well that morning as I said .. I was still upbeat ... but visibly not at my best. She TM as she got to work about S and his pictures. and told me she hoped I felt better and to have a good day. I was thankful for that .. told her to have a good day too. She had told me she had a phone call with a Job recruiter at 12:30 .... 12:49 she TM me about it .. was very excited, I congratulated her, and reflected her excitement knowing how good it would be for her at this new job. TM again at 4:00 that the hiring mgr loved her background and she had a phone interview Friday and needed to get her resume done, I again supported ... told her that she was always very strong on the phone and her resume is very impressive ... the company would be lucky to have her.Sh showed up at my place to pick up S ... and asked me about my day, how I was feeling (at the time I was better) I noticed a piece of hair on her and went to remove it and she kind of jumped back asking what I was doing .. I pointed the hair out and she joked that I was moving in to cop a feel ... I laughed and said no .. I wouldnt do that .. she joked and kind of flirted that I would .. I shrugged and said .. well maybe. This kind of interaction has not happened in a long time .... I ended the conversation shortly after, told them both to have a great night and went to get ready for my softball game.
She TM around 10 asking if we won, and told me about her resume .... again ... not normal convo for us over the past year. and TM me again this morning about S .. then asking how I was feeling ... urging me to set an appt for the Dr ... and then we talked briefly about 9/11 and where we were
So no expectations .. but looking at my tracking on the calendar there have been a good number of positive exchanges, some days there are not alot of communication but on those days what little we have is positive. I realize I can not push this .. and have been trying my best to being there .. and detaching .. and not scaring her off ... her brother compared her to a scared kitten (Ironic as thats my pet name for her .. Kitten) ... and he is right .. he told me she loves me and is just scared, I would rather she say that .. but it does put a small amount into the hope bucket.
So ... keep on doing what I am doing .. she just TM some funny pics, and seems chatty this morning... I know there is so much work to be done but it seems she fights with me less, and has stopped putting her issues on me and has started looking and I just need to keep calm and continue to DB ... waiting for her to come out of the tunnels.
