It sounds like we're going through similar things at the same time then. You're right when you said that ultimatums don't work, she's said yesterday and today after the second round of discovering sexting between the two of them that the rules I've laid down and preparing for separate lives has made her feel driven away and controlled. But at the same time, I can't in good conscience let an affair continue unabated while she's living under my roof (and possibly once I go back to work conduct the affair under my roof).
