Hey Claire, it's OK to feel that loss. It's hard. I went on and on in my old threads about that same loss of family. It [censored].

Accept that you're grieving and it will take as long as it takes.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss