WAW still at home, 3 weeks after asking for D

[bdub]

Had a pretty major backslide last night. I let her bait me into an argument and I could not let it go. We went back and forth for 20 minutes. She sucked me into it and then did all the usual. She changed topics, brought up the past, attacked, insulted, and talked in circles. I got frustrated and dropped all the validating and went on the defensive. I then started attacking her and being stubborn. We both raised our voices and both got angry and frustrated. Luckily it ended a little better than normal but it was not a good episode.
We started talking about money issues again. thinking we would go ahead and get through the last 2 hurdles I sat with her and participated. She wanted to raise CS by 50 dollars even though we had already agreed on a number. I asked her why and she couldnt give me a reason and that frustrated her. I asked her what her budget showed and she told me she didnt have one. Eventually I blurted out that I had figured one for each of us a few weeks back and she asked to see it. I showed it to her and she instantly argued almost every single value I had down. Then out came the "controlling" remarks. I guess I could see it as controlling if I would have done the budget and then given it to her. I simply wrote down a budget for each household so I could see if things were going to work and be some what equitable. I should have never even mentioned it. So, now its back to detaching, GAL and back on the 180s. Last night was temporary and I know to only believe half of what she does and none of what she says. This s*cks and it is not how I envisioned my life.