Thanks guys! i appreciate the encouragement! Who knew I'd need to talk about and plan and prepare myself for a HUG but that's my life now.
So it was Back-To-School-Nite tonight. H stayed with D while I went. In order to look like a pulled-together responsible mother, I straightened my hair and wore it long, got dressed nicely, perfect make up... not for back to school night but for the 3 minutes I'd see H before heading out.
I texted him when I was on my way home and suggested we all meet for ice cream. We had fun and I caught him looking at me. He actually was engaged with me... asking me what ice cream I got, how back to school night was, etc. This is all different behavior since BD. I'm choosing to see it as a plus.
We drove home and he apparently needed to charge his car because instead of hugging D and leaving he said he was just going to be in the studio working for a bit. Ok. No problem.
He stopped and looked at me again. I was going to lean in for a hug but D called for me so I ran upstairs and by the time I came back down he was in the studio.
I was thinking about inviting him in for a glass of wine in a bit. Just to chat about non R stuff. D's school, visitation. I don't want it to be too long... lest we begin to talk about things I don't want to talk about.
Is that a good idea? Bad idea? I was considering inviting him out for sushi again for tomorrow evening... I don't want to do wine tonight (just the 2 of us) and sushi tomorrow (3 of us). Just one. Which one?
Also, I just noticed he put a "psychology appointment" in the calendar and then erased it. I think he put it on the wrong calendar because I saw it and then he moved it onto his private calendar because now I can't find it.
So, he's scheduled for a IC. This is good because he has some serious anger to deal with, he's admitted that. I am also scared, too, though because I'm afraid the IC will tell him divorce is a great idea and that I'm a horrible wife and to get as far away from me as possible. YIKES.
I can't control that though, can I? yuck. I guess I just have to hope he'll get good stuff from the experience but that's a big thing to hope.
