Thanks for all the feedback. I will add that to my reply.
I'll admit that part of what is getting in my way has nothing to do with him. My family can be difficult. I'm not looking forward to telling them... And some of it is because of me. I am choosing not to drive an hour with my D in rush hour traffic after a long day of work, and then either have to stay at my parent's house (undesirable outcome), or drive an hour back home at night (also undesirable).
Clearly part of what is affecting me is having to deal with the reality of this situation. In the past we would have stayed at his mom's house. I miss that, and I miss his family, very very much.
Yesterday I called my MIL with my D to wish her a happy birthday. On speakerphone she told D she, D, FIL and H will go out to dinner on Friday to celebrate her birthday. "What fun that will be, D!" I said. And now I'm crying thinking about it.
This weekend H is taking D to see group of friends and their kids-- another friend is in town. I like these people and their kids a lot. When he left me, I lost a whole extended family and social circle, too.
I'm angry and and sad about that. It makes detaching harder. All excuses, I know. But that is where I am right now.
