Was the sound barrier broken tonight by truth darts? I was launching them at uncontrollable speeds.
Maybe that's what happens with months of stfu? Whew... I don't think it was TOTALLY am matter of bottling things up in an unhealthy way... maybe a little?? Seriously, I have been doing SO WELL with keeping it together- well... as far as not going off on him and hww. I have felt they aren't worth my energy; HOWEVER- there are some things that I just feel really strongly about and that I feel are things that are MAJOR factors to consider, hence: truth darts!
It all started this morning with s. S was seen heading to my house first thing this morn with a girl, when, of course, they should have been at school. Long story short- I was in touch w s right away and had him high-tail it back to where he should be. This is the first time I've reached out to xh in a few months to let him know what is going on. I told him and a couple texts were exchanged.
A little while later I received a call from s's school. The called a meeting for today. S is having some serious difficulties and there are concerns about him. I have been quiet aware of this and dealing with it for months. I don't want to go into details about s, but he is struggling with all of this.
XH was at the meeting. I was glad. This way he could see how much s is hurting and it's not coming from me. That's why I really haven't told him anything in the past few months, bc he is not accountable for his own actions and makes s feel worse. XH is not ready to face the fact that he has caused major damage.
So, after the meeting, s and I left. S didn't even say bye to xh. We were walking down the hall and xh said to wait up. I told s I'd wait in the car. S got in and was so mad at him. XH got into hww's car and headed back to work to get her... yup, they ride together and it IS the reason he is late to d's stuff. Has to p/u HER kid at her mom's in the morning. I guess that's prob why xh hasn't pushed to p/u s in the morning. like he did last yea- Gotta take HER son. Oh man... I digress... yet again.
S was mad and does not want xh to have any info about him. He really does not even want to talk to him. The meeting was not at all about s being in trouble. He still does not want xh involved at all.
So, after a little bit, xh called me. We have not spoken in months, since nuke. I really tried to maintain. He just really ticks me off. It was so obvious in the meeting how out-of-touch he is with our kids at this point.
xh wanted to know how the kids said about him, and at this point, the unleashing was beginning. So I told him a few of the following:
How the s wished bad things for hww how s though he was a selfish a$$ h0!e That they are mad that he wanted to cancel his vacation with wife and kids and went on a cruise with a hww and her kid S thinks he is a lying piece of... That xh wasn't there for him when he needed
many more.....
Then I asked, "Is that what you want to know?" He said yes, what else do they say? Then asked what d says,
I said that d thinks he is a perv
Then I stopped and told him HE should ask them and that it is not my job.
But I did say that he needs to stop saying that it is my fault the kids don't want to see him. He needs to be accountable for his actions and by saying that he is implying to them that he did not do anything wrong and did not hurt them. When he blames me, he discounts their feelings.
I told him that it is terrible that hww's mom posts crap online about their happy little family and how they are having a girl. (I think he was shocked I knew this) and how would his kids feel to see that? While she is celebrating, there is a family that is devastated and she does not give an f about them.
I said they are sick to move down the street. That his kids nor I want to see him with his happy little family. That it is like terrorism. I can't move my kids bc of school and they are so selfish to do that and not consider them. That we don't like going to the store for fear of seeing them.
I told him about the sperm analysis. I said things I knew about her, which I think he was surprised I knew. Then he asked what I know about her (like implying how *he* knows her..) after I said something about what kind of a person she is and how she is a terrible person. I said, "I only need to know this: She got pregnant by a married man. She is a mother and bought a house with a married man when she has never even met his kids. That's says it all."
OK, enough already. There was PLENTY more. But that's it for now. I'm exhausted with it. I was all bent out of shape after that BUT... recover time IS quicker. Thank goodness.
I do have to say about HIS response. First, he didn't say much at all. Even when I called him out on being with her last year, before bd, he did not deny it at all. He said things are the way they are because of the circumstances and he has no choice, that this was not planned (that's an understatement). He said he thinks about the kids every day all day and is sorry for hurting them. I asked him if he is happy. He said he is not happy about his r w the kids. I said, no, are you happy. He repeated above. I said, no, xh, are you happy with her? He said, yeah I'm happy. It didn't sound like he was confident but I associated it with him being uncomfortable telling me this. I did tell him earlier, though, what a joke he looked like with this young girl and how he just looks like an old joke. And pointed out that she is closer to s age and was in the school dist at the same time as kids.
Donno..... It all came rolling out. I know.... not the best thing to do. But honestly, I don't regret it. He has not faced one truth or reality. He got off easily when he wanted. He wanted a quick and easy d and for me to disappear. Well.. now he has to deal with the aftermath.
I have to add something later about this weekend, the weird-o. Getting sleepy... gonna try to zzzzzz soon.
