Found out today that H can file for D in CA if he wants as I live here (even though he doesn't anymore, legally). That [censored] because it is a no-fault D state and I won't be able to fight it. He also can file for D in PA (which would be easier for him) but it is a fault state and they might require counseling (which I would consent to) but any lawyer would likely tell him to file in CA. I also found out that he can royally screw me, financially as well as emotionally, because he makes a good income but it is self employment income that is completely dependant upon his own efforts so me owing half of the business (him, really) is not something they would order and that means I am left with what the courts would determine for my spousal support and child support, which would likely be $2000 to $3000 less than I usually need to make ends meet with our current lifestyle. So, it looks like I have to do all that I can to get him to agree to an amount higher than he would technically be responsible for and put that in the agreement if he files, of course, if he stops doing business I am screwed.
On top of all this I could not stop thinking about how he has not only ripped himself from me (and I am still completely in love with him) but also all my hopes and dreams for my future. I will never go to Paris or Italy or other amazing places as we had always dreamed of. My kids might have to change schools. I might have to go back to work. This is all just too much on top of losing the love of my life. I feel like I have supported him in every way for 23 years and I'm getting my teeth kicked in as a reward.
I am hanging on by a thread to my faith that God can bring H to his senses and restore our M. I pray I have the strength to endure and that he comes around soon, although that is unlikely to happen, I know. Maybe never.
Me- 40 H- 41 S8, D5, S4 M 19 y T 23 Bomb drop 6/2013 H asked for/filed for D 9/2014 22 yo OW discovered 9/19/14 they're engaged and living together
