MOVING UP MOVING ON

[Ambivalent]

Yes she did, Job. I had stepped back from her and gave her space. Last year was awful, with her and her father. She had to come around all by herself..

It was fun coming home to the surprises. It's so nice to have someone care that you are alive, HA!

He wrote the sweetest note "Lissa,
It was a special day when you were born, the world is a better place because of your gorgeous smile, smarts and spirit. Happy Birthday!! Hugs and kisses, your Bear "

That eve, as I was pulling into the drive, he called to sing me Happy Birthday" ! That too was a surprise, for he is not a phone person.

My BD was in May, I found ya'll and Swing dance in August. It has been fifteen months of a journey so far.

I have found out so many things, felt so many emotions. Gained grey hairs, lost weight, gone to school, now paying bills and managing everything on my own.

I've dated, and am now in a relationship. I've given my heart , body and trust to someone new. It seems so odd, after over thirty years with someone. The oddity is not the relationship but the lack of feeling for my ex to be.

I cannot imagine kissing him, let alone him touching me in any manner. I have a slew of new friends, and touch base occasionally with my old.

Most of my divorced women friends are bitter, and still angry after over ten years...I feel NONE of that. Considering the lying , cheating, and recently found out money manipulation...I really could care less about him.

I've been accepted by a horrible cc company, but it is a start to building my own credit. A coffee a month and paid off every month shall slowly build a new score.

I still suffer from depression, and fight it daily. I see it in how I'm not caring for my gardens, cleaning the house, and procrastinating on taking my exams. The exams are fear too.

This I am aware, and am slowly trying to address it.

Thanks for the b'day wishes, Job. Thanks for stopping in.