Quote: I don't know if I should let this become an issue or if it even is one...did he actually put his friend before us?
Well, suppose he DID put his friend before you, how does that change things?? This isn't anything new, he seems to have his own order of importance with things since he moved out, and that is perfectly normal, otherwise he'd move back..
He didn't ask his friend to spend 10 days in Florida with him DID HE??
Somehow, someway, you have to be less suspicious of his intentions every time he does something that doesn't cater to your level of satisfaction. This is a guy who is finding his own way back to the M, while he maintains some sense of independance, which appears to be important to him. You can either ACCEPT him for who he is and what he does, or cut him loose and find someone who fits your expectation level..
I say give him a break, soccer gear is nothing to stir a fuss about..
Ask yourself what the WINNING Cindy would do...by now you should know HOW TO HANDLE THINGS LIKE THIS..
I marvel at your wisdom...you put things in perspective every time! Thanks for replying to my post!!!!
Quote: Somehow, someway, you have to be less suspicious of his intentions every time he does something that doesn't cater to your level of satisfaction.
Yes, it works better when I don't jump the gun or read into everything.
Quote: is a guy who is finding his own way back to the M, while he maintains some sense of independance, which appears to be important to him.
Yes, one of his biggest complaints was my controlling behavior...or at least what he perceived as controlling.
Quote: You can either ACCEPT him for who he is and what he does, or cut him loose and find someone who fits your expectation level..
Yes, I need to go back to no expectations...or at least what the real important ones are....soccer gear is nothing to fuss about.
Quote: He didn't ask his friend to spend 10 days in Florida with him DID HE??
This is what ran through my head yesterday. He may have catered to his friend yesterday but he did my bidding for 10 days in Florida!!! So no big deal, I can let this go, I will let this go.
In the big scheme of things, this little bump is nothing to get all worked up about. I hope he got the impression that my not coming over there to get the gear was not that I was mad he ran his friend around, it was only that I was tired, too tired to drive 20 minutes out of my way for the gear.
If he says nothing, doesn't cop an attitude, I won't say anything about it more. If he does I'll just validate him and not bring any of my dumb suspicions out on the table.
I finally got an ILY! And to think I almost was too tired to go to his place last night...but I went and it was the best night. We watched a movie then went to bed. He lit candles and we had the longest, most wonderfulEST time in bed! He said ILY 2 times!
Through the night he'd roll close to me and hug on me, then sometimes roll with his back to me and push up against me for hugging. It was so nice.
Now he has the kids, took them to their soccer game! I'm taking a much needed me time now.
Yesterday was fabulous! H and I ended up at Home Depot where he pointed out the trees and pavers he wants to put in at the house. He talked about the patio he wants to make in the back yard! He has all kinds of plans for our house...carpets, deck, patio, woodburning stove, etc. It was hard to contain my excitement!
On Sunday we went to the gym...on the way there he mentioned where the 2 bedroom apartments are at and what their floorplans are like....he's yet to mention WHEN moving in together will take place but he has plans for it apparently !
Today he goes to the bank to set up our joint account, I think!
I'm just sitting back watching...not showing my excitement but being appreciative of his efforts. I mention no plans myself but merely listen to his and ask casual questions. Let him do all the planning and talking. The boys asked last night when are we going to move in with dad...I say I don't know but we'll let dad tell us when and we won't be bugging dad about it. It's your dad's decision.
Awesome! And you are doing the right thing by sitting back and watching!
Have a feeling I will be hearing you are a success soon! I'm so happy that you and H are making plans.
See, you did the right thing! You showed your H that you wanted to make your M work! I wish i had dismissed the D a long time ago when I wanted to! But, I let the att talk me out of it! A valuable lesson learned; make my own decisions!
You are on a roll and it's totally inspiring! Keep up the good DBing....it's working so well. H is falling back in love with you, that is so obvious. Sure, there will be some moments of confusion...but they are getting farther and farther apart. Stay strong. Let it be as it is.
Yesterday my h picked up the boys from school then waited for me at my parents' house.
Well I got there left my van and used h's car to ride together to the boys' soccer practice.
My mother told my dad that we'd all left together. My dad became horribly upset that my h had been in their house. My dad was waiting for my h with his shotgun loaded!!!
Well when we pulled up to the house my sister calls my cell to say my dad is waiting inside with a shotgun for my h. I tell my h to hurry up and leave while the boys and I go in the house. (my parents house is not in town...nearest neighbor is 2 miles away...so if my dad wanted to shoot h he could!!!)
Well when I got in my dad is just sitting there the gun was right on the table. We just went to the bedroom and waited...nothing happened.
I talked to my mom and she said my dad is expecting an apology from h for how he treated the boys and I. Well I relayed this to h and he says he is not apologizing to my dad. H said why should I apologize for YOU leaving? And h said because he was too scared to try again is why it was a year before h decided to come back. I said well can't you tell that to my dad...h said no you tell him.
So in the end my dad didn't say anything to me in the morning and my h is not going to talk with my dad.
I suppose I will have to tell my dad again that I appreciate how he wants to protect the boys and I but that I am going to get back together with my h. And that he should not put me in the middle of this but to be glad my h has decided to come back and that he's trying.
I hope my father will listen...he's just so very mad right now. I'm also scared that this will push my h away!
