Dealing with WAW part 6

[25yearsmlc]

Indeed it does give you another opportunity.

I wanted to mention two things. The GAL is NOT done for your wife to notice.

Granted, it's often a byproduct of GAL, but the main purposes of GAL is to help you detach, undermine her negative views (also the 180s come into play for this)

and to help you become the man you were meant to become. Further, at least some of these activities are for YOU as an individual to meet new people who don't know your situation and will thus help you detach more. You need to detach lovingly (not w/angry "indifference") and GAL helps with that.


For GAL suggestions, let me mention some of what I did when we lived in the interior of Alaska, even in the winter. had 3 kids including a newborn baby (so you know I don't want to hear about how you are 'too busy' to GAL).

Inertia and old habits are the greatest enemies to GAL. Overcome those, & you'll be well on your way to a happier more fulfilling life. IMO, the more you overcome inertia, the better your R's will be with all people, including your w.
So here are some of the things I did then, some of which I still do.

I volunteered at a battered women's shelter.

I coached a girl's softball team, two summers (my older D was on it).
I was on the board of directors for Wrestling, (b/c our son wrestled).
I auditioned for community theater and met some fun creative people. I got cast, too.

I did stand up comedy (and yes, I still do it). I did a whole set once on a MLCs at the Improv. It went very well.

I learned to cross country ski, & I got better at downhill skiing.

I Learned to hunt big game, to deep sea fish, and became a better shooter.

I learned to use a snowmobile (or a "snow machine" to Alaskans)
I loved riding it.

Learned to fly a plane, and I got a pilot's license.

Went skydiving. Loved it so much I did it again. And plan on doing it again, soon!

Edited a book. (The book ended up on the Best Seller's List. Who knew?)

I Worked out 3-4 times a week, and I really did get in excellent shape. Looking good made a world of difference to me. Found a work out partner and began socializing after the work outs.

(Plus I'd just had our last child and needed to lose the baby weight. It was not easy to do, let alone in the dark, deathly of their long LONG cold winters).

In the winter, I used a tanning booth, which helped me a lot with depression. I felt more energized, and it probably helped my appearance, which also helps us FEEL better.

Saw a therapist and for some months, went on ADs.

Took a pottery class (very odd for me to do, but I liked it a lot).

Joined the Officer's Wives club after 15 years of active duty.

(Wish I had joined sooner! Met two women who are life long friends to this day.)

Joined a writer's group

Took a class in Conversational French

Took a class in Italian cooking

There is more, but I just wanted to suggest to you a few things you can do that do not cost much.

In fact, other than pilot training, most of these ^^ activities were free, or really cheap.