Well, maybe I just set an itty bitty boundary. W txted to say "can you cover the kids tomorrow morning so I can see [second] physical therapist" (OM is W's physical therapist- she was supposed to stop being treated by OM as part of a previous agreement but in fact just added a second therapist without stopping seeing OM). Instead of launching into the whole thing with her I replied "I'm not willing to discuss your therapy schedule anymore given the other aspects of your therapy choices I don't agree with. From now on please just ask me to cover the kids because you have an appointment"

Minor to be sure, but I think this is progress. Real test will be tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day her and OM typically see each other. W's typical routine is to schedule about three hours of things she doesn't end up doing (massage, IC, etc.) as a reason to be gone most of the day. So tomorrow we have a doctor's appointment, physical therapy and IC all scheduled back to back. Old me would be checking mileage on the car or calling the doctor to confirm the appointment, but new me isn't going to snoop. Will be hard but I will be calm, cool, ask no questions, appear happy and ask "as if."

Wish me luck.......

Me: 45 W:43
M: 15, T:21
2 Kids- S-14, D-12
A Started: 10/2013
Discovered as EA: 6/2014, as PA: 7/2014
A changing, not ending
Start DB'ing 9/2014
Same house, same bed