Need Help before I blow a fuse.

[25yearsmlc]

I understand that the secrecy bothers you. That IS a problem.

You can talk about how you want no more secrets in the marriage, (and live by that)

and ask your DB coach how to get on the same page as your wife, so she doesn't continue this. I'm not in total agreement with Starsky about "never" revealing your source of info (though I do agree that the secrets will need to stop soon or they'll undermine your progress)

but seems to me, you could tell her the truth, AND that you NOW are not going to snoop but you did before you had your "awakening", and that's what you found and it makes you very uncomfortable.

But again, your DB coach can best advise you on this.

How are you doing with the children? I can't recall if we discussed this, but an involved father is an attractive father. And if it reveals new behavior on your end, all the better. Meaning, it shows that you can change and ARE changing and no woman is unmoved by loving interactions between her children and their father.

Good luck.