Hey GGG(G), I also believe that my W did the same type of thing. She hasn't been "happy" since she became depressed 7 + years ago. She has tried (according to her own words) "many" things to feel better...she was a stay at home mother, adopted several dogs, threw herself into her work and new friends, lost weight, etc. Nothing worked, she was never able to "find her joy" and D'ing me was the "biggest change (she) could think of"! Of course, after she decided that and I pointed out that D not only has a profound effect on her and me but her kids, her family, everyone who cares about her, she HAD to come up with "reasons" that I was the "cause", that way she could justify hurting so many others!
I think when you get right down to it, MLC is always about them trying to "escape" who they are and since we are so big a part of who they are now, we have to be pushed aside. We are part of the "problem" and they have to find ways to blame us so that they can go and be someone "new". We know them and who they "really" are so they can't fool us with their fake personas. We will always be able to see right through them and they HATE that. It's like when teenagers can't fool their parents. We know who they are in all their "uncoolness". We know who they are which is why they hate when parents are around them when with their friends. They can't act like they are "cool" when we're around because we know who they really are. This is why, even when teenagers friends think they have "cool" parents, they will roll their eyes and disagree! We are now mom/dad in MLC's mind!
I see this with GUBU and his "online" personas! Totally different than the GUBU you know but it's who he "wants" to be! As long as GGG(G) is around, he can't fool you! These are some of the real reasons they are ending their M's. Not rational so they come up with all these untrue, irrational "reasons" that only make sense to them. The reasons you spelled out and the way you would end things are what rational people would do! People who have real reasons to end a R, not just thoughts from their fevered, MLC baked minds! The last thing they want to do is admit that they were wrong about us or the M! That would "look weak"! One of the reasons, I think, that MLC is so much harder to deal with than simple WAS. A non MLC WAS isn't looking to change who they are, can actually think rationally.
Stay on the high road GGG(G). You will feel so much better about you whatever the final outcome!
