I have the NEED to have a partner who lives up to his responsibilities and I don't think it's unhealthy to be angry with him for walking away.
The anger isn't unhealthy, it's what you do with it and what you expect it to do for you that can be healthy or unhealthy.
Holding on to it creates unhealthy resentment. Using it to show you where you need to grow and change is healthy. Allowing it to show us our boundaries is healthy. Feeling it when someone has overstepped our boundaries is healthy.
About your D, and this is going to sting a little, usually the people who evoke the most emotional response from us are those who have traits we share, traits that we don't like in ourselves.
Your D11 may be very like you (and she's the firstborn) in that she likes order, she likes to know what's coming next, she likes her ducks in a row. And now all she sees is chaos and the 2 adults she thought had it togehter, don't.
She's hurting and she's getting your attention in the only way she knows how. Kids act out for a reason.
Check out some kid's therapists. She does need a safe place that's just about her. Be proactive.
I big breath-stopping hug is being sent to you. These situations shake us to our core, and make us look at things that we've been hiding from for a long time. And when we think we've finally peeled that onion, there's another layer.
Keep peeling. We're here to support you.
Last edited by labug; 09/10/1403:38 PM.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
