That will all come across as controlling, and would likely drive your W away farther, faster.
Depending on what state you are in, the standard for proving A is different. It is likely very difficult to prove. Also, in no fault states, judges take a very dim view of filing for cause of adultery, and they will reject your petition and have you refile as no fault, simply to not drag the AP's name into the record for something that you aren't likely going to prove to the standard of the law. This is especially true if you are in a state where establishing infidelity has little or no bearing on support/alimony/property division.
So, talk to a L and find out what adultery is really worth to you. Realize that it is probably ineffective as a way to end A, especially if AP is not married. And even if it scares away this AP, it may just drive your W to the next AP.
Also know that retribution by trying to hurt AP is not on your road to happiness. You have bigger fish to fry. Time spent on AP is time wasted.