Quote: ...see what you two can work out and I'll support any decision you two make. I want what S wants and what will work out best for you two. H said Hmmmm.
Of course he said.Hmmm..because its not being forced upon him..You handled that perfectly, not too hard is it?...
Quote: H wanted to go out with friends that night then leave for Florida on sunday. I just agreed and said whatever he wants is cool with me. He said ok, I'll let you know.
Again, another example where agreeing on things like that always makes sense, you MADE HIM FEEL better..he gets his night out you get 10 days as a family, not a bad trade off..
Quote: H's face was full of surprise. Mostly that I did not push an R talk and that I was not pushing working on the M.
Good girl Cindy, just keep up that attitude and you'll increase your chances of drawing him back. Take it from a newly D'd me..If I could take back every time I pushed my W on the M , and supplanted it with how I'm handling things now, I would not be Dd, I'd bet my Cubs hat on it..LOL..
Every time you push M talk on a WA, you are one step closer to D court, just remember that..
Keep doing what works even when there are disturbing lulls in the action..
Make yourself a margarita tonight, you did a good job..
Quote: Every time you push M talk on a WA, you are one step closer to D court, just remember that..
Yep! I agree and the talk I had with H last night ended up hurting like he//! Then I wrote him a letter, no results from that either. I made more headway when I Dr my butt off. Now the sharks are swimming around me and closing in! I asked for a dismissal and now the wraths of he// are upon me! Now at this minute my H is being forced into making a decision on whether he wants a D or not. I wish that I could of taken it all back and not filed. trying to undo it, didn't work.
Sorry, cindy, didn't mean to take over your post!
I think cindy you handed it great! See what happens when you Db right!
Happy to report that h is feeling more confident! He's taking charge of the r...calling the shots as to when, where, what!
Called this AM to confirm departure for Florida! He won't be going out with friends so that we can leave early Saturday!
Said also to bring over all bills needing to be paid off so he can get started on them!!! Wow!!!
Then he says come on over tonight and we can go to the Drafthouse to watch a movie!
I readily agreed of course to all he said. He threw in a request to view costs of tickets to Busch Gardens in Flordia so he can take us.
Wow the man is moving and going here! Told him to have an awesome day (I am so absolutely happy!)
Hey check it out...started reading a new book called " WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES...FROM DOORMAT TO DREAMGIRL!" It's so awesome...gives great pointers on how to get a man to pursue, clean up, respect you....most principles are really straight from DB. Very funny and enlightening! Go pick up a copy and READ IT!
Don't give into the thought that your h will file for d. You know what the filing did to you. It is not a fun process. He won't enjoy it. It's a horrible decision to make and not one that is made lightly...no matter how much he screams it is what he wants. Once he starts on the path to trying to file...he'll regret it.
My h was horribly nasty to me V-Day. Said the most hurtful things! But you have to remember when we filed the d on them, we pretty much ripped their balls off and served them back on a platter! We hurt them so bad...they want to retaliate! You stand firm because you did the right thing trying to undo your mistake!
Encourage your h to 'do what he thinks is best for the family'. (hearing that statement made my h realize that it was not all about him!)
Keep the faith! God is greater than man! Don't go by what you see or hear...but by the Word of God. God says all things are possible through Him!
Cindy, well things sure changed around for you! Going to Florida! Awesome! Went with my H around our 20th anniversary two years ago! Seaworld, Disney, Discovery Cove! Our condo was on the beach, it was awesome! Have fun and enjoy the honeymoon!
Quote: But you have to remember when we filed the d on them, we pretty much ripped their balls off and served them back on a platter! We hurt them so bad...they want to retaliate! You stand firm because you did the right thing trying to undo your mistake!
I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday at H's place. I'm having such a hard time believing this is for real...I feel as though any time we have an argument that h will call the whole thing off!
Here's positives for the weekend:
1. Friday were suppose to go to the movies but ended up staying in to watch movies.
2. We and it was so agressive!
3. We snuggle afterwards!
4. Saturday morning we ML again.
5. H makes us breakfast!
6. Go outside to get in separate vehicles but van door breaks...we all ride over with h.
7. H takes us to lunch.
8. Then he returns to work and lets me use his car!!!
9. I pick him up from work and we go to the store...shopping! He asked if there was anything I needed said no but then he ended up buying all my items cause I left my wallet in the car!
10. We walked around the store looking at household stuff...h even told me he was wanting to buy an outdoor stove. You can't have those at his apartment!
11. H told me his routine...buys 2 movies, 2 cd's every payday.
12. H wanted to buy a cheap golfing towel and glove..I gave the suggestion that if you were only going to golf once and a while you should go all out. H bought the expensive Callaway towel and glove! 13. We got to h's place and watched a movie as a family.
14. He makes popcorn for us. He and I share a bowl and he offers me some dip!
15. At one point I made to sit on the floor alone with the blanket and h called me over and we snuggled. (Maybe he was after my blanket !) Ended up all of (kids too) under the blanket....was very nice!!
16. We and this time it is not so agressive...he took his time!
17. Sunday morning we woke up late and I took us all out for breakfast.
18. We spent some time at the mall. H took me over to look at refrigerators...seems he wants to get a new one.
19. We go back to his place, he fixes the van door. I do the laundry. We all wash his car.
20. He bought some stuff for the van's carpet! How nice!
21. He offered to wash the van but since I go down a dirt road to my mom's I said he didn't have to...he said ok.
22. Sunday night he cooks us dinner. He actually didn't have a piece of chicken for me so I was going to go get my own dinner but he said absolutely not...he said he's feed us all. And he did.
23. H and I sit on the couch reading a magazine together. We talk some about the trip to Florida.
24. H calls his mom to try to locate a restaurant in Florida he wants us to go to.
Lots of positives.
Now the negatives: My h had some difficulties with the kids. At one point during the soccer game, he yelled at me that none of us listen to him and he knew where the boys got that from. I just told him to chill out and that I would get the boys covered...h was upset that the boys did not have more protection against the cold. H was upset too that the boys were so rowdy at his place, yelled at them a couple of times. Also yelled at me at the carwash, cause I let the partially dressed boy run to h's apartment. H said do you think that was smart to let him run off in nothing but shorts, it is 60 degrees outside! I just looked at h while he talked told him sorry I'd go get boy and he could just stand there with us and get muddier! (not my best moment). H was upset at how boys washed his car, he finally ended up doing it himself. This AM h screamed at oldest son because he didn't get his shoes on after the third time of being told to put his shoes on.
Once h was looking for the remote....said well ok looks like I just looking by MYSElF! I calmly pointed out son had found it for him.
Also said well son broke a glass...what was it 8 when WE started! He mentioned something as a WE!!!
I guess this is not anything new...h didn't sit well with boys' rowdiness before but it feels weird to have h get mad like he's going to tell me it's over because of it!
I dread getting in the car for the 17 hour drive to Florida with h and the kids!!
I see a heck of alot more positives than I do negatives. Boys will be boys, your H has been used to being on his own again, prolonged periods with the kids may be touchy for awhile, especially if thet have the"energy" yours do..
Just another aspect of "piecing" things back together that you have to navigate through. Your spring break trip should be an opportunity to smooth things over in that dept. He has to be more patient with the kids, thats his deal to figure out. If he leaves you because of THAT, well what are you really losing anyway??
You are right...boys will be boys! It's acclimation time is all no biggie.
And you are right
Quote: He has to be more patient with the kids, thats his deal to figure out. If he leaves you because of THAT, well what are you really losing anyway??
I'll continue to be confident.
Called h this AM...he sounded happy to hear from me so the weekend must not have been too much for him!
My H asked tonight that I call his apartment complex to get info on 2 bedroom apartments. He doesn't want them to know it is him so I'm going to make the call. He doesn't want to report my income I guess...only said to give his income when I call tomorrow!
Praise the Lord! Looks like h is going to take the leap back into this m!!!
and it was so agressive! 
