rpp i can totally relate to the family thing. My parents are the poster children for abnormal relationships. as children we didn't think anything of it really. My parents swapped partners, swapped back, separated, remarried to other people. They all spend holidays and any other time together. go figure but it works for our crazy family.lol We don't know any other way.
H:45 M:44 D:15 D:11 M:16 T:22 BD:4/14 OW:4/14-8/14 H still refusing to try Praying every day for a miracle
Thanks, Wonka. I am trying to look at the "bright" side, if you can call it that, of H having to live without his family. Right now he comes home and his kids have been picked up from school, assisted with their homework, shuttled to and from other activities, his dinner is ready, his laundry is clean, his house is clean, and everyone is thrilled to see dad. Let's see if OW can match up to that, maybe she can, maybe she can't. And I do believe your advice is right on about the holidays, I'm not going to commit to anything right now. I may or may not be ready to play happy family him come Thanksgiving. I have said all along that his moving out and forcing us to tell the kids is a major hurdle for me, and I just don't know how I'll actually feel when that happens.
This is going to be a vent post, sorry in advance. The tuition bills for D11 come to me by email, I immediately forward to H. H just complained that they come to me and "by the time he gets them" they are late, meaning I was at fault for not sending them soon enough. I looked at the time stamps, and I forwarded the last one immediately, then he sat on it for another month until it was late. NOT my fault. Grrrrr.....
rppfl sorry to hear about your latest developments. I too am facing a a WAS moving out and it can be terrifying if you let it. Choose to stay positive and know that now will be your time to shine. I wish you the best!
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
I'm sorry you are in a difficult place. Yes, Labug is correct. That's projection from you h. Don't take responsibility for his caca.
Hope the day gets better!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
H's decision about the tuition was to pay the rest of the year off and not have to deal with monthly bills. Fine by me. If he'd go ahead and pay the next six years after that, then I wouldn't have to address that legally in a D settlement. ;-)
I replied this morning to H's holiday suggestion that we spend "at least part" of Thanksgiving and Christmas together as a family. I told him that it was something to consider but I wasn't ready to commit to that yet, let's reevaluate later. So that's off the table for a while.
I just need to have this move-out done with and let me settle myself a little. It's like the sword of Damocles.
Labug, I am indeed a little sassy. Sometimes that gets lost. Right now I'm spending most of my free time coaching D11's basketball team. I'd really like to do something else that's not kid-related but haven't found that thing yet. I may possibly have more free time when H leaves, that's yet to be seen, it depends largely on how D16 reacts and how much time she wants to spend with him.
H replied to my suggestion that we reevaluate the holiday schedule later, and he wasn't particularly nice. I don't think he was expecting that I wouldn't welcome him to the Thanksgiving table with open arms, and he was quite snippy about it. It surprised me, and surprised me even more that he referenced our "underlying issues and the relationship dynamics." That's not what this discussion was supposed to be about. To this day, I don't really understand what the "issues and dynamics" are, I asked him to please expand on what those issues are for my own knowledge and for the sake of our future co-parenting relationship. I know that smacks of R talk, I didn't mean it that way, really, and he brought it up, not me. But I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to finally understand what this is all about. H and I may never have a R (outside of the 3 kids) again, but I'm going to with someone and I need to know what to work on before I get there.
