Onguard i hear you loud and clear bud . My wife and i have been together almost 27 years and its been heart breaking . She was so kind when I found out about the A and for weeks and months later she was supportive and kind and said we would get through this . I repeatedly tried to tell her to stop seeing OM because her feelings would get stronger if she didnt . She wanted me to trust her and she would end things , she just needed time . Here we are months later , she s thinks shes in love with him and she despises me . Her brain is in another world .
This is why I'm such an absolute NAZI about no-contact and transparency. Even if a spouse is willing to end all contact and work on the marriage, it doesn't mean they are always able to. Affairs are HIGHLY addictive, and any re-contact with their OM/OW re-starts their withdrawal "clock" to 0:00.
A solid transparency plan is the glue that helps hold together the formerly wayward spouse's good intentions about no-contact.
