Do you meditate? I've found that meditating/prayer has really helped me center myself in the absolute worst moments. I focus on my breathing and, as I inhale, I fill my inside with my name "Heather!" It may sound silly, but it really works for me.
Other times, when I feel I simply can handle one more minute of whatever...I imagine God is holding me like a Lazy-Boy recliner. I just sit back and let Him support me. Any ol' chair will do.
You will get better at this. I know this stress. Smokey has always been very dark, so when he did come around...I felt like my insides were in hurricane mode. At some point, you can set some boundaries about how/when you see him. You may even find that the kids would prefer you were at different games...simply because it eliminates the stress on them. As a kid of divorce...I hated those moments when my parents were together. It really depends on what works for you and your kids together as a family. There were moments when my parents relaxed and I was able to enjoy them together...but, that took a long time.
Go easy on yourself and put your peace of mind first. It's going to get easier.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
