I come from a very similar household. My parents are on their first marriage, there was no yelling, there was no hitting or manipulation going on.
Also like yourself I ended up filing for D, she always brought it up and due to unfortunate circumstances I'm dead set on moving on with my life, single. From what I understand, it sounds like you still want to save yours?
I think its one of the rules in DR, but, do the opposite of what does not work brother. A certain behavioral set has caused you to appear on these boards, a new set of behaviors will take you off of these boards.
I'd recommend you look into "I love you, but I am not in love with you" by Andrew G. Marshall. This book explains why arguing is essential for growth in any relationship.
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay." ~ Will Smith
