Inside my chrysalis 2

[Maybell]

So glad you had a great day!!!

[labug]

I get that. I think my wording mismatched with my intentions. The sentiment was to be her most awesome self. The woman only a fool would leave. I certainly didn't mean she should strive for some superficial external ideal...

I sincerely hope Ss06 didn't take it that way.

Joe, as I said not a 2x4 but rather an observation. Oftentimes the most intense pressure to be all those things comes from inside us, cheered on by popular media.

[labug]

SS, I'm glad my wet blanket didn't affect your day. Sounds like you worked really hard to stay in your sandbox (just continuing the beach analogy).

Carry on!

[Ss06]

Good to see you labug, thanks for visiting!

So I got The Solo Partner through amazon. We have stuff coming from amazon all the time. A bunch of stuff came the other day for H so I set it aside. I didn't realize it but my book came s in a box with other stuff he'd purchased so I didn't see it.

He texted me yesterday saying, "so that book you ordered is in my box." Oooops. So yeah, he knows I got it. I asked if he would mind dropping it by or if I could come get it, he said he would drop it by in the morning. Sure enough it was on the welcome mat as I walked out the front door this morning.

Oh well, at least he knows I'm trying, right? I would have preferred he not see that but we still share an amazon account and I like it that way (meaning we're not divorced) so I'm choosing to see the plus side here.

Anyway, I got exactly 2 hours of sleep last night. A migraine coupled with insomnia was brutal. I may have to take a power nap because my butt is dragging. 2 hours of sleep means about 5 hours of Divorce Remedy reading though. Did lots of underlining, journaled a bit about some goals and generally day dreamed about H coming home. That's a hard think to NOT think about.

In the meantime though, we are getting along great. I mean, we don't talk really outside of business texts but those texts are at least friendly, LOL. I'll take what I can get.

I was reading a bunch of posts earlier and they happened to be by men and I noticed a theme of desperately wanting to be touched. I wonder if I started hugging H hello and goodbye if that would be a good thing, a friendship thing, not a pursuing thing. What do you think about that? Maybe just goodbye?

He has initiated both hugs we've had since BD and they've been great but it would be a complete 180 for ME to do that. He'd love that and notice it, I think. If I wasn't too forward (cleavage thrusting in his face, lingering, etc - LOL), I think he'd take it as the loving, heartfelt, friendly gesture I mean it as.

Anyone?

[Ss06]

buuump for the night crowd.

[pilot]

ss, you can try the hugs...especially if they are a 180. There IS something to be said for physical contact ,especially contact like hugs where one can find comfort and a connection.

Give it a try. Next time you two are together and having a good moment, or had a good moment and it is time to say goodbye, give a hug. make it short. unless for some reason he grabs on, then let it go on for a bit, but make sure you break contact first. Experiment. If it works, keep at it, if not, well, then quit.

[Ss06]

If it works, keep at it, if not, well, then quit.

I don't know why but your masterful advice here struck me funny.

Thanks for making me laugh.

[pilot]

haha, not sure my advice is masterful, but hey, compliments get you everywhere

in all seriousness, give him a good heartfelt hug IF the mood strikes right

[Joe1981]

I've been pitching the physical contact angle for a while now. A hug is a great, lowish risk way to start.

[pilot]

^^^ listen to Joe