Your position needs to be "end your affair, and come back and work on the marriage with me. I think you will find that I am ready and willing to work on all issues, including my own contributions to our problems. But I'm not going to do it with a third person involved, and I'm not going to wait forever."
Starsky, Were you saying I should tell her that? I really don't feel we're at a point where I can set some boundaries. I tried setting some boundaries as far as how much my kids were involved with this OM's kids, but either she completely forgot or doesn't care what I say at this point.
Yes, it feels like she is and I'm letting her walk all over me.
For the past week or so, I've accepted that her moving and taking the kids is what she'll do and I haven't showed her much resistance. However, this past Sunday I agreed to see the house and maybe because I was slightly intoxicated started showing helpful interest in her decision to move. But, I'm starting to feel I shouldn't be helping her at all with this move. I go back and forth in my thoughts whether I should help or not. I feel I should help, because I fear she may turn to OM to help her move and in turn her more angry at me. I also think it will cause friction between us where one is trying to punish the other in any way they know how. Lastly, I think me helping will make the transition somewhat easier for the kids. But on the other hand I feel I shouldn't help, because this is clearly not what I want to happen with our family. Thoughts or suggestions anyone?
As I post this it is nighttime where I'm at, so I'm going to try my hardest to make no physical contact with her.
