Doing all right

[BrightFuture]

Pbetra, no I haven’t read this book. I guess, I was been deliberately avoiding reading something with worlds “end of a relationship”, even though I know that my old R is dead. I think I’m about ready to read something like that. I will check it out, thanks for the recommendation.

LiveNow, this what my friends and family tell me too, that I’m stuck because I’m still married and that I need to get a D. I don’t know if it would change anything for me though. Maybe it will, but I’m just like you, not willing to do H’s work for him right now. I want him to do it. I’m ready for it. I’m just not ready to take an action.

This upcoming wedding of H’s niece just would not get off my mind. When I’m in a good mood I think that I need to send a card. It will show that I’m a better person than them. It will probably make me feel good about myself too. Then, I get angry and think that they will not hear from me ever again. Then I get indifferent and think that in no way this event impacts my life or my son’s life, it is just like a bad dream.

This is exhausting… But, an interesting part is that I don’t feel like a victim anymore. I’m pretty much resigned to the fact that I made the wrong choice when I married H. I could have had a lot better life with a family that would accept me and H who would care. I also catch myself of being angry and intolerant of people recently. Watch out… I might be entering into my own Midlife Crisis, folks. Should be interesting...