1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 6

[Train]

I second every, single thing Wonka just said. Including this, which begs to be repeated:

The tiny part is that H isn't at home. That is really, really tripping you up every time. Every SINGLE time. Please set aside all thoughts about H coming home. Really.

I'd spend a lot of time trying to find my focus and center right now when things are on the upswing, mdu. There's A LOT of hard work ahead. You asked the other day, when you were on Cloud 9 after ML, for people to tell you about the potential land mines. I didn't respond then because it would have just rained on your parade. I STILL don't want to rain on your parade, but - as you already know - I'm not good at holding back and coddling.

As Starsky once told me: "your sitch has reconciliation written all over it."

But the hardest part comes when they've bitten the hook. Because THEN we can relax a little on the "re-attraction" and "affair-busting" part of DBing. But when we let our defenses down, allllll our feelings about what our WASs did come washing in. There's doubt, confusion, sadness, ANGER, bitterness, a loss of trust and "innocence."

I only tell you this because I really, really want to see you guide your marital ship toward steady waters. And you MUST keep yourself and your anxiety and fears in check to do that. Focus on what TRULY matters here. And (as much as I feel it falls on deaf ears), I'll say something I believe wholeheartedly (even - in fact ESPECIALLY - now that my H is back at home and we are grappling with everything TO THIS DAY): slow and steady. Don't rush it.

Your M is for LIFE. Devote the time it takes NOW to make sure that's the case.

Rushing will just hurt you - and your M - in the end.

But that's just my opinion.