Yes this happened while I was away, but she's been having difficulty for the past few years. In the past two, I've only been home for a total of 9 months between deployments, training, and exercises. Most of that 9 months has been spent being miserable at my job and bringing that misery home with me. Still, I'm not using that as an excuse for infidelity on her part, just something for me to look at as a basis for self-improvement.
I've kind of implemented the, "Set Them Free," idea, telling her that if she wants to leave that I'm fully willing to help with the process of taking her name off of joint accounts/property, helping her find a job and transportation, and whatever else she would need to be independent. So far, she's still here.
Which is why I'm confused as to GAL. From reading the, "rules," of doing a 180 (this is where I first came across it: http://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/), it would seem like even though we both live in the same house and sleep in the same bed, am I supposed to act as if she's not even there? I have been trying to reconnect with old hobbies that I used to do, and taking initiative on my own to do things rather than waiting on her all the time, but from what she's told me, it was my emotional absence that fueled her desire to connect emotionally with others (her words were that she's felt single but not allowed to date). So I guess I'm trying to strike a balance of sorts, trying to ensure that I can be happy on my own, but trying to provide my wife with the emotional connection with her husband that she's needed for a long time.
