Yes. For the last 8 years I was having panic attacks and withdrew from the family. My W didn't understand them and started to create a life with the kids without me. I went to many councilors before finally last year finding one that found my root cause and I haven't experienced one since. Sounds great. Can you talk to that counselor about some of your other issues? Jealousy is a form of insecurity and CAN be a means of control. What's that all about? Have you explored it?
During that time during panic attacks as she was growing more independent I became very controlling and jealous. She also couldn't understand panic attacks because I am so strong minded. What does this^^^ Mean?
It means that she has always seen me mentally get over many obstacles over the years and she couldn't understand why I mentally couldn't solve my panic attacks.
She also appears to be going thru Mid-Life crisis. We went through 8-10 years of growing apart. Maybe you are leaving out parts of the story, but to me it just Sounds more like a natural byproduct of her needs being unmet for so long.
But it doesn't matter much - b/c YOUR course of action remains the same. Work on you.
When had the meltdown at the beginning of last November, she said that if I had been doing the things I was doing now she would have loved it but that because I had been so distant the last 8-9 years she had started a life outside of me. This caused a great deal of jealousy in me as she branched out.
Now I am trying to find out who I am and to be happy in my own skin.
I don't mean to minimize this^^, but frankly, it sounds a lot more like a MLC....what are you talking about?
Over the last 9 years I have forgotten who I am and have totally changed. She has even told me that she doesn't recognize who I am anymore. She said I use to be so independent and sure of myself and that person has just disappeared.
I have 2 wonderful kids who are beginning to pick up that my wife and I are having issues. My wife will disappear for hours, will not take there phone calls a great number of times. My D, age 17 has asked my W on many occasions where she has been and why won't she take her calls, etc....
M-57 W-44 D-17 S-13
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
