At this point though I feel I'm showing her that I have changed and also that I genuinely want her.
I find this hard to relate to. Knowing my wife was having an affair made her very UN-attractive to me, and I'm actually a pretty co-dependent/enmeshed guy. Have you talked to a good IC about this?
Somehow you've got to find a middle ground between "cold and aloof" and "needy/pursuing" here, Arcola. Cuz the former was a marital complaint of hers, and the latter she likely finds repulsive in her current wayward state.
