Hello everyone and I hope you all are having better days and making progress!
Well, I got a call from W last night (as soon as I saw it was her #, I knew it wouldn't be good!). So, once again the IRS sent my W info that they just shouldn't have sent her as all the info should be coming to me at my address, something that I thought they handled but they got the send to my address right but failed to address it to both of us so it was redirected to W's new address!
Well, of course W is all upset and worried. Why is this happening? What did I do to "make" this happen? (she tried so very hard to find some way to blame ME for this it was ridiculous!). I remained calm, I explained (for the 100th time it seems) what exactly was going on, what I have already done and what my plans are for when all the different issues are worked out (hire a tax attorney, that I have already spoken to a very good one that the owner of the startup I'm at has used for his many businesses, spent MANY hours on the phone talking to IRS, etc.). She refuses to relax, wants to not believe me when I tell her the facts, I refuse to allow her to get to me. Finally after she actually "seemed" (I say that because with an MLCer she could change before she finishes hanging up the phone!) to actually back down even said "I'm trusting you to take care of this....". WHAT! Did I just hear that correctly? You are "trusting" me about, well, anything? I tell her that I will keep her in the loop about any new things that I get from the IRS, any developments, etc.
I change the subject and I tell her that I saw her on the road when I was with D14 on our way to her mother's house to pick up food that she made for us (God bless my MIL, she cooks great meals and when I have D14, she always makes at least a day or two's worth of healthy meals for us!). W brightens up a bit, talks about what she picked up (she gets individual size ones of the same thing when I have D) and I swear she actually sounded "nice". I even made her laugh once or twice! Not only that, when there was a pause I was the one to say "Well, I have to go....". I also noticed on Sunday that my W was wearing a religious medal I had given her as a gift, when she came over. Since she left I haven't seen her wear any jewelry I have given her in the last 26 years! And a religious item to boot! She has refused since B-day to step foot in a church, even when her grandmother asked her why she wasn't going for Easter she told her "I'm a bad person Grammy, I don't belong in church", it's like she is afraid she will burst into flames if she stepped in a church!
After having her actually act (almost) like a human being while at my home this weekend (of course she was 3 hours late, took more than we agreed, stayed far enough away to avoid any incidental touches, etc. but hey, she didn't have a tantrum and run around the house screaming) and now these small steps, could it be that she is thawing, just a bit? Well, I really think it helps that she hasn't seen her father for the last 10 days. It seems the longer she is apart from him, the more decent she becomes. Of course, I DB'd my Butt off while she was around and I never said "no" to her about anything she wanted to take, stayed calm when she cut into my time that I told her was important (watching the football game), was friendly with her BFF and her BFF's boyfriend, helped her pack, etc. I really never gave her a chance to get upset and even (tried) to joke around with her like we used to do.
Between picking up D14 and her texts to me about money (or lack of me paying enough) I have stayed TOTALLY dark. I never initiate contact unless it's something like when I took my D to get her eyes checked, that kind of thing. Since her father hasn't been around to "make up" for all the bad he has done, I don't think W hasn't been doing much except working. I really think when she isn't with him and her new "mom", she has nothing but alone time and work time and of course time to think about whether she is any "happier" now that she has left me. Could it be that she has been able to make at least a little progress on her issues? Who knows. I certainly hope so, for her and our D's sake at least. It makes no difference to me and what I need to do for me. I just need to be thankful that the weekend and the IRS thing coming back up didn't go the way that they have in the past. With all that's going on with D14 right now, I'm so glad that W didn't add any more stress to my life, thank goodness.
Also, this morning things went much better with D14 getting up and ready to get to school on time. We still left 10 min's past when I wanted but we did make it on time. Yeah!! I was even able to get her to find time to at least take some food to eat in the car on the way. A definite victory compared with day one! Now I just need her to not expect me to wait for her at her mothers while she does her homework there. I just don't like being there and D14 needs to see that there is really no reason to go there every day when she is with me.
So, a slight improvement over the last couple weeks. Now I really badly need to get some GAL time in! It's harder when I have my D14 to find the time but it's been too long and I need it badly! Nice to finally not have only bad things to report! Thank goodness!
