Let's see: I was in bed before H got home last night. When I woke up this morning he was up, so apparently he took his weekly day off today (he gets 1 week day and Sunday). I said, "good morning grumpy pants" with a teasing tone, and he laughed and said good morning. Then I ignored him, kindly, just going about my business.
He hovered around playing with the cats as I got ready for work. As I was walking out the door, he told me to have a good day, which I thanked him for in a bright tone, without slowing my stride or looking back at him.
With that, I'm taking stock of my 180s:
- Less internet time, more time out and not at home. Huge 180. In fact, my computer has been off at home for a while.
- I'm making the bed every morning (I find that I don't sleep too destructively, and it's easy to just slip out of bed and pull up the covers) and making an effort to keep the bedroom clean of clutter.
- Cleaning up after myself in the kitchen, not getting lazy about house work.
- not asking questions as to where he's been or what he's doing.
- Spending time with him like I would a roommate (IE: friendly and not oppressively) watching TV or helping with projects at home, because one of his problems with our R was that we lived in separate rooms all the time.
- Sending (limited and sparse) funny pictures/jokes/observations via text during the work day, because when we first started dating we used to call each other at lunch daily and keep in touch and gradually we slipped into ignoring each other through out the day near the end. I keep my responses chill and spaced out far apart to his. If he doesn't respond, I don't push it with more.
- When he initiates intimacy, I'm enthusiastic and on board and playful. Our R was so sex-starved and it was a big thing for him; this was a big thing our R was based on in the beginning -- not just physically but emotionally/connection wise, too. Right now I'm comfortable with it, no expectations it will fix the R or he'll want to come back because of it. Keeping a close eye on it.
I'm trying to think of some more, good 180s that will benefit me first, and him as a side effect.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
