It's about a year, give or take a few weeks, from when W's EA started. There have been at least 3 PA's since.
Yesterday morning I took W aside to say that since she had no interest in working on R, and since I would not stand for an open M, that left few options. Told her I would have my L start dissolution and that she would hear from him soon. Told her it was the very last thing I wanted to do.
She said it was all my fault and that she was "done" a year ago. I said anything was possible if we both wanted it, and we all have our own choices to make and left it at that.
So there, I gave her a heads-up of what was to come - no blindsiding.
I called L and told him to send the letter to W. I felt an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders. I had drawn my "no open M" line in the sand a couple of months ago. I meant it.
Today I received my copy of L's letter to W, so presumably W will get her copy in the mail today.
Sad that it's come to this, but happy to know that I'm a just a few months away from something different than this daily drama.
Of course, I have no idea what will happen next. W is so, so, so out of character that anything could happen. Or this may be who she now is. Doesn't really matter. I'll deal with it all with dignity, and I think, maybe naïvely, that anything is better than what's going on now.
W has no remorse, takes no responsibility at all; she seems very hurt and resentful, can't get past it, and her response is retaliation. After a year of IC, she doesn't seem to have learned anything about resentment, forgiveness or how to let go and move forward. I suspect her C is more the pro-D "you deserve happiness" type. W needs co-dependency help. (imho) In spite of my 180's, which she's noticed, she is still unwilling/unready to do anything but hurt me.
W has accused me of being controlling. Was it controlling of me to force this decision on W? No - she can still do what she's doing, she just can't do it to me. Right now, my future is utter chaos, D is all but certain. I in no way feel in control of anything. However, my engine's purring, and I have a full tank of gas.
