It's appropriate now to start a new thread cause h and I are headed down the road to a serious reconciliation! He went yesterday and bought the video camera, then took us to dinner. We spent the night ! Oh it was fabulous!!! He was so affection during the night after ...hugging, kissing me. Then we all went as a family to our sons' soccer game! H used the new video cam. Then he left at lunch to drive back to work.
We talked some this morning about our taxes. At one point he was in a huff about my not paying off my debt...I didn't have the heart to say well I could pay off debt I was too busy paying my attorney!
Well here we go again...and I continue to pray it is for real this time. Cause until we have a home all together I'm not real sure about this thing we are doing.
Last night I wanted to bad to call h and play 20 questions. I wanted to know what his plan was, when we would be moving into together, are we going on vacation together, on and on and on, etc.
But I did not. Prayed instead then I called him to say good night and that I was thinking about him. He immediately launched into confirming vacation plans for Spring Break (Florida) and setting up vacation for the summer (June 12 to Ohio).
So now I kind of KNOW some of what our future US will look like...we'll be going on vacation together as a FAMILY!
I'm so grateful this morning. Grateful that when I turn to prayer with my anxiousness...I'm taken care of.
Cindy, Once again, things are going well for you...
Just remember... let him take three steps forward and two back WITHOUT letting it devastate you. Expect it... he is STILL on HIS journey.
How awesome that you did not call with your 20 questions, because you KNOW that it would only push him away. And look what happened... he VOLUNTEERED the information.
Remember to affirm him at every opportunity... make him the hero. Maybe that is why he got so torqued at you dismissing the D... he probably felt you were not letting him have a choice in that matter. This is an area still bugging him... so let him lead whenever possible.
Hang in there, you are really doing awesome. Keep leaning on the Lord.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Nice to hear he is initiating vacation plans. Nicer to hear you are ACTING in a manner conducive to keeping the momentum going in your favor, which of course is NOT PRESSURING..
Holdingon hits it right on the nose with that reply, think about that every time you want "ask 20 questions...".
Cindy.....It's working and you are doing it in the right order! You are catching yourself before you slip into the "pressure-mode" and prayer/meditation is the best!!! It really works, doesn't it? Nice to know you have "family" plans for the near and distant future.
I've got to go pray...thought hit my brain. Remember when h said he'd date even if he was married?
Well should I question his fidelity? I did tell him on Friday that if I found out he let his d**k slip into some gal's v that all bets were off. I wouldn't stick around while he slept around on me.
I think I made it pretty plain but feel as though I should get his iteniary, ya know?
Well, I wouldn't recommend it..suppose the shoe were on the other foot and you were the WA trying to get your feet wet in the M again, how would you feel upon hearing THAT?
I think you would be wise to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him. If he ends up sleeping around on you, its because his heart isn't in the right place to begin with, not because you threaten to leave him if he does. If anything all that does is give him the ammunition to say..."well, you didn't trust me anyway, so this M wasn't really going anywhere so...."
Now is the time you try and rebuild the M based on the same principles it supposively was founded on..Questioning his fidelity might not be the best way to get that done, IMHO..
I totally agree with Wiley on this one....but HEY-you caught yourself, you knew not to go there. At some point, way down the road....when you can start healing over the A, etc....then perhaps with his initiation, gently talk about fidelity, past wounds, etc. Give that a lot of time. Read other sitch's regarding that stuff...check in with Hoping or others. Don't let those worries get the best of you now....you are just beginning to reconnect and work together. (Sure thoughts are gonna sneak in that make you crazy, negative, angry, etc....let them go, give them to God and tred lightly for now.) Baby steps back to a M that has been struggling.
Hope to be in your shoes one day....even tho it seems very difficult at times.
etc....let them go, give them to God and tred lightly for now.) Baby steps back to a M that has been struggling.