Well, it does seem like you have some expectations, and I think maybe disappointment that you're about to go through another set of holidays this way is playing into it as well.
My draft agreement (which H hasn't seen, but I'm pretty sure he'd agree is reasonable) alternates holidays by year. So this year he'll have kids for Thanksgiving and I'll have them for Christmas, and next year alternates. Of course, our families are more than 600 miles away, so we can't really share time for each holiday.
My feeling, however, is: You stated your preference. It is your ACTUAL preference, I assume? If not, state your actual preference, suggest a SIMPLE way to manage logistics that takes the whole season into account, and stand by it to the extent it makes sense, flex where flexing works. You back down very quickly with him, and I'm not sure why this is. You generally seem happier when you behave more strongly. He's not really going to get much further away than he is already. What are you aiming for by accommodating him to your own detriment?
I'm not saying this the same way some of your real life friends might, with the premise being that he's a jerk for not working on the marriage. Your happiness doesn't always seem to be your priority when you're interacting with him. Why is that????
And for that matter... what in your life is going well?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
