I know that terrible feeling in the middle of the night that's all about missing your spouse (and in my case kids too). Unfortunately that's when the pain, loneliness, fear, rejection, abandonment, worry, and doubt seem to mount their most effect attack and rob you of your peace. Not being able to eat for days, and having your foundation crumbled out from underneath you.
Some ideas for you: - Don't be alone in the house at night if you can help it - Don't drink coffee in the afternoon(makes me nervous at nght) - Exercise in the evening - Melatonin at bedtime (It's a vitamin sold at walmart)
Also, I have discovered that by not contacting my wife very much during this whole mess I'm less depressed. Meaning no expectations = more peace. When I'm not feeding her chaos engine it helps slow this thing down and in turn results in a more PMA for me even thought I still love her and miss her dearly. I have no idea what she's up to and honestly now I'd probably rather not know. I do know however what I'm up during the detachment phase (that replaces my normal focus on her) and that includes: - Prayer - Listening to Praise and Worship. Fun rock music helps too. - Little Experiments in kindness to my spouse (no expectations) - Spending time with kids (we worked out a schedule) - Working on the house (that I still live in) - Exercising - Getting back involved in Church - Spending time with my Grandma (who is in her 90s) - Regular visits to the Chiropractor - Getting plenty of rest - Meeting with a group of men, who care and support - Hanging out with old friends and reconnecting - Finding things that are funny (humor is like a med) - Picking up hitch-hikers to show kindness (this is not for everyone) - Regular counseling visits and monitoring progress - Focusing on my son who is still living with me. - Reading Dr. Dobson's Love Must Be Tough - Reading the Divorce Remedy - Checking here daily - Speaking to an attorney to help prepare me in case it does go that direction (I'm not filing first, she must do that).
