mdu, I think you are struggling because your husband simultaneously has not AGREED to be transparent with you, and yet he now is ACTING transparently in his day-to-day interactions with you, including on some pretty big issues.
Only you can decide what to do with that. I can only go by how you relate things to us here (that's all ANY of us can go on), but he does seem sincere to me, and I do think he's trying.
At the same time, I believe he is the personality type (and has the past track record of someone) who would rather not be pinned down by something, and would rather "wing it" day to day and not have to make a Big Commitment.
I see you struggling with whether or not that's a dealbreaker for you.
