Nothing much to add - just updating. I had my girls time out and had a great time. Always somewhat depressing as they are all married and of course that just comes into the conversation making me really miss companionship but I am adjusting to that. I saw him very briefly Saturday when exchanging the kids and again Sunday when he came to mow the yard and yday morning when he picked the kids up - yday he was very arrogant and smug almost - today back to somewhere in between depression and smug. No conversation of any kind. In the meantime, i am working on myself again - i think i slide back with the responsibilities of the kids and school and activities and all. I am hoping to decrease my own cycling and get to somewhere in the middle where i can feel comfortable and confident with my actions moving forward. The end of this month will be our 19th anniversary - I always wanted to take a big trip for our 20th - I may just have to go on one alone this time next year. Still adjusting to sharing the kids with him but we had a great time last night just us (kids and me). I have to focus on the quality of our time together not just the quantity. I am making slow progress in decreasing the "fixing" and co-dependent part of it. He has mail at the house but i am not giving it to him unless he asks. I know the weather is getting cooler and he didn't take any jackets or sweatshirts when he left -they are still at the house - I thought about bagging them up and giving them to him but I am not going to say a word about it. I still feel like he is cake eating to a degree but i try to not give him the satisfaction of allowing him to still do small things - that is the hard part because I don't know if I should let him do some things or just say no to it all.
