Looks like I cross-posted with Maybell (who has some super advice), but here's my post anyway:

You say that you don't see how you can stay with W and then ask when you should give up. Those are contradictory questions to me.

You need to ask yourself: are you willing to work on your relationship and your marriage? Nothing's going to happen with OM in the picture, so I'm afraid it's a waiting game. Are you up for that?

What most people do is make it clear to their walk away spouse that they want to fix things, but they won't have anything to do with it until the other person is out of the picture.

Then, regardless of the situation and the details, they start by getting a life (GAL). Find things to do with yourself and your kids so that you're not focused on W. Make it about you and improving your life so that even if the R can't be saved, you're strong and worked through your crap emotionally and mentally and are prepared to move on with or with out your spouse.

Check out the thread with Sandi2's 180s for changing your behavior, in order to change the bad habits and ruts we all get into. Honestly consider your R and what went wrong, the part you played, and how you can change yourself for the better.

Hold strong!

Last edited by Two Sided Coin; 09/09/14 03:17 PM.
BF:40 M:33
SD: 12
T: 8, never married, no kids together
BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try".
PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".