Detach and protect yourself. My sitch is similar to yours. As long as she is in the home have a PMA and work on those 180s for you. It is very difficult to GAL, go dark, and detach when she is at home and there are children involved.
Remember that what you feel today is not what you will feel tomorrow. Don't make a rash decision you will regret later.

I'm sorry you are in this situation, and wish you the best.

Only you can know when it's time to call it quits.

M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15