New here, my fairytale gone wrong

[BrightFuture]

fthnluv, sorry you are here and welcome to the community. You will get a lot of good advice here.

Your situation is somewhat similar to my, except I don’t have small kids. My H was working in another state when he delivered BD and ILYBINILWY speech. He never returned home to stay. He visited a couple of times in the first year. Last time he was in the house was this past May. I've heard pretty much the same script. He still hasn't initiated D, after more than 2 years post BD.

There is no known OW in my sitch. And just like you, sometimes I wish that there was one. It would probably speed up the whole process, I don’t know. As of today, he is probably still hoping to find his “perfect” woman. I have no way of knowing that though, there is very little contact.

It is great that you were able to speck to DB coach. You will have to do some work, to undo the begging, pleading, and pursuing. This was the first question my DB coach asked last year, when was the last time I did something that looked like a pursuit, or told H that I still wanted the relationship.

I like it that you are planning to go on a cruise and leave H to take care of the kids. I’m sure this will be an eye opener for him. I hope that reading the DB book and following the suggestions from coach and this board will give you some directions and help to survive this madness.