Well....

After many days of I love you and never want to be without you and you are the reason I wake up in the morning...

I left with S for a music lesson.

I realized I had forgotten a check, so I went home.

And there in the kitchen was h, unpacking his "prescription" that he only uses with OW. (He carries it in his work bag.)

He heard me and jumped like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar and scampered into a dark room, calling out cheerfully about my return.

Tonight I guess I tell him that I'm going to step out of this three pronged relationship. It's too crowded for me.

Do I stay in my bed or sleep elsewhere? I don't know.

I'm shaking, I'm mad, but I don't think I'll cry. Enough.