Slowly switching gears

[Anders]

...can you commit to a marriage in which you both share a home? IF NOT< then this is a set up for failure.***

I definitely agree with you 25 on this point. The whole divorce ultimatum centred on us living in the same house and her ending the EA, which I handled very badly.

My work transition to this new place has been deliberate as it would allow me the flexibility to work from pretty much anywhere I choose to after the first four months when I have to be here.

This is where I feel stuck and have been thinking over what would be the best course to take. Here is what I have been mulling:

1. Write to her to acknowledge my part in all of this and how much I have hurt her, especially by giving up on us with the divorce ultimatum.

And/or

2. Give her a couple of days and then call to talk about what the best way forward would be.

Or

3. Continue to play it very slow using each interaction to increase her level of comfort and trust. Let her be the one to make the call on making up or moving on.