Hi pilot, since you are always giving me and others wonderful advice from the manly point of view, maybe we can help you with a little womanly POV.
Let's see. Obviously I have no clue what your W is thinking. But this point I think you should try being nice. So what does being nice mean without being too pursuing?
Call her. Sound relaxed, happy, upbeat. Say something like "hi! I was wondering if you'd like to go to lunch Monday?" or "Hi! We haven't talked in a while. Let's have lunch Monday!"
Let's say she says she is busy Monday. Don't get discouraged. Say happily "is there another day that might work?" and if she doesn't suggest another day still keep that PMA. If she says she will get back to you later, keep that PMA.
If she doesn't pick a date and doesn't get back to you, contact her again friendly with PMA and ask if there is a date that works for her. Slap a smile on your face before you call. Smiling improves your mood and makes you sound happy even when you are not.
Even if she is totally done with you she will likely still be ok with meeting for lunch if you sound relaxed, happy and friendly.
One thing I have gleaned from my experiences and your awesome advice to me is that in addition to being detached and GALing and all that you also need to appear happy and relaxed when dealing with the WAS. The fact that you seem happy and relaxed is one of the biggest things that makes them confused. At least that is how it seems to me. First of all they are attracted to the happy relaxed person. Second, it seems to confuse them - why is the LBS happy? Third, it seems to make them realize that they themselves are perhaps not so happy.
Who can resist a happy, fun, confident, relaxed person?
In a past relationship years ago I was done with my boyfriend. He wanted to get back together. He would ask me to dinner. Oftentimes I would go if he seemed happy, friendly and relaxed. At dinner he would be friendly and funny at first and I would start to remember why I was with him in the first place. Then he would start being sad and pursuing and telling me why we should get back together. I would shut down, forget any positive feelings and want to get away from him as quickly as possible. If he was able to just be fun and happy, who knows what would have happened?
That's my 50 cents of advice. Call and ask her to lunch and don't worry what she says. Don't push too hard but don't be afraid to push a little. As long as you plan it to be a friendly lunch I think it won't come across as pursuing too much.
