Please be careful here Caliguy, You ended your post with "... looks like she is wanting to try...". Just be very careful there. It was just a few days ago she and you had a fight and both you and her were "done". This sounds a lot like the pursuer/distance dance to me. You fought, she got worried, you went to an emotional thing (her brother in jail) with her and was nice, touching, etc. Be ready for the distance and darkness that is to come. This is what's called having "expectations". She was nice and seeming like she wanted to try one day and now you "expect" that to be the same a day, week, month later. Expect that to change on a dime and as you saw when you were hit with the blame when the nanny said something to her, YOU don't have to do anything to cause her to change. In fact it has nothing to do with you, really. It's inside her where her pain lies, she is just blaming you in hopes that she can stop the pain.
Enjoy the times when things seem better. Use them to learn and recharge but be careful that it won't change fast and for no reason. Keep up the GALing and 180's, you're doing well.
Matt
Yeah I know you are right .... damn it ... lol
I guess its the good exchanges that keep a person holding the rope, and it does seem when I am ready to let it go she makes sure I don't ... I realize now she needs a gift of time to sort her stuff out, which it does seem that she is doing now that she has IC and the Church sessions scheduled on 2 of the 3 free nights she has during the week. ... the other one I am sure she will do the gym. All good for her and I pray there are some changes and awakenings. I do fear her family being in my corner .... but its not because of anything I am doing other than just being me.
The thing that gets me is when she makes an effort, like last night and today to atleast communicate, share her days thoughts with me it does give me expectations ... I am so fortunate to have this place to keep that in check and take it at face value and not put more into it than I should .. its so easy to want to hold onto that so tight it basically shoves the WAS away again.
