Catching up on your sitch .. and after the comment you left on mine, maybe tracking the days would be a good tool for you, atleast make you focus on the short game with the long term goal in focus ..... I had to do this for my sanity ... like you I felt the urge to press now, fix now .. just leave OM and be with me now ... I had to remove that thought process and realize, even with OM gone, we still have months if not years to be able to just sit and talk without the animosity and fights. I personally take the "z" or quiet days as a negative ... but looking at the past months on my calendar a strange trend has enlightened me, the early months were mostly "-" with few + ... then there were a mix of all three .... then more Z's and +'s ... now the +'s are starting to string together with a few Z's ... but the thing is ... the past 6 weeks only 4 "-" ... PROGRESS.
I truly hope it works, just keep tracking, on the Big + days make a note on why it was a plus ... really try to think DB here and note that it was a small gesture ... for me the day I started opening her car door ... even walking her out with S I open it ... that was the turning point of building small positive exchanges for me.
Stay Patient, Focus on that long term goal and let the little day to day stuff run its course.
