Here is a question for the old timers (vets). Is there an 'expiration date' on NC/dark/dim? Let me clarify. After a BD or whenever a LBS begins to LRT, NC (or a variation) would seem to have the most effect as the WAS is confused as to what is going on. However, after a period of months of, lets call it, limited contact, does the whole concept go from being effective to 'routine' for the WAS? Do they begin to just build their life around the idea of the limited/NC and accept it as the new normal?
IMO, there could be a point that the LBS stops using this method. Either the couple moves on to other people and make a life apart from each other, or they make some shift to reconcile. I'm not sure exactly how you mean "go from being effective to routine for the WAS". She has to accept whatever limited contact you participate in, yes? She may not like it, but she has to accept it.
I want to remind you, this should be for you, and not to get a reaction from her. It is "effective" when it helps you to stay better detached. It is effective when she begins to miss more of "you".
If the two of you move on in different directions, what would be the point of more contact? The children would be the only reason for ever contacting her. OTOH, if she becomes interested in reconciling, she will let it be known. Obviously, you would not continue LRT under those circumstances.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
