I've noticed that this roller coaster ride we refer to is really TWO roller coaster rides. There's the one we're put on by our WAHs that feels out of control and bumpy and jerking. Then there's our own ride that has its own ups and downs which often coincide with the WAH's bumps and jerks but sometimes they are very independent of each other.
Resentment and anger and disgust are a definite part of our own ride. They bring us low, sometimes for a long time, but they are a necessary part of the ride, because without them we can't learn the skills to bring ourselves out of THAT pain.
Through yoga I've learned that we all shy away from pain - for obvious reasons. What if we sat in the pain and simply observed it. Stop running from it. Look at it, feel it, let it permeate, watch it... it teaches us a lot when we do that.
I dont' see anything wrong with sitting in the resentment and anger and disgusted phase for as long as you need. Often it's not very long but know that it will come back. It's part of the ride. As long as it doesn't blacken your heart completely, feeling it is part of getting out of it.
A very wise labug recently said (paraphrase),
"Life has a lot of twists and turns but I get to decide how much I'm tossed around."
This spoke to me big time and I share it with you now because it's one of those things that, when I'm clouded by resentment and anger and disgust, I want to remind myself.
We can get off WAH's ride.
We can't get off our own. We can, however, decide to honor our pain, not waste it, put it to good use and allow it to motivate us which will level out some of those dips on our own personal roller coaster just a little bit.
Focus on the good things you have going right now. Put your energy there for now. Only good things can come of it.
